The Grass is Always Greener
by caj-trixie
Summary: When you look at the other side of that dirty, white picket fence of life, you may find that they’re not as different as one might think. An introspective look between Kikyo and Kagome for both Kikyo lovers and haters alike.


This is between Kikyo and Kagome, a view from both sides of the fence. You know how some always say that the grass is always greener on the other side? Well, when you switch sides you find that they're all the same.

For Kikyo:

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Lovers: An internal view of Kikyo where she's not a total bitch, but more kind, like in the manga.^_^;

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Haters: A new outlook on her, but if you don't want a new outlook, you get a bit more depth into two of the six sides of the problem, and Inu Yasha ends up with Kagome, just like in the story. Yay!^_^

I have wanted to write this for a wile now actually. I mean, I almost feel sorry for Kikyo sometimes, and others I just want to strangle her. Come on, how would you react if some girl came one morning, stole your boyfriend, and left with him? Their mere existence with him would taunt you! You'd hate them too wouldn't you? And what if your boyfriend was the only person you had in the world? That would just suck.~_~

Anyway, it's a little long on Kikyo's explanation, but we all have a feeling for Kag's side right?^_~* So yeah, try and keep an open mind, and enjoy!^_^

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Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters in it. If I did I'd be rich, but I'm not... and if I had lots of money I'd probably spend it on anime anyway so pleeaasseee, don't sue me.^_^ lol

Oh, and as always,

_= thoughts *_* = sound/ italicized "_" = speech

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The Grass is Always Greener

One-shot: On the Other Side

Shippou sighed and shook his head; "There he goes to see Kikyo again."

Inu Yasha, Shippou, and Kagome had been traveling for three hours now. The group had split up in search of shard rumors, but so far, all trials had turned out to be nothing more than wild goose chases. Miroku and Sango had gone off, traveling westward towards Sesshoumaru's territory; they all thought it to be better if Inu Yasha didn't encounter his youkai brother. Now, Kagome and Shippou were alone, and it was to rain soon.

With nothing left to do but wait, Kagome sat on a log and sighed softly. It was amazing how one minute she could feel impenetrable, and the next completely lost and broken. She guessed that that's what love did to people, but that didn't mean she had to like it. As the miko looked down upon her foster child, curling happily into her lap, Kagome couldn't help but smile. The kit had always been there for her, had always treated her as his mother, but she knew that somewhere, he loved Inu Yasha too, no matter how much they fought.

Inu Yasha... 

As the memory of that night so long ago made its way into her thoughts, Kagome held the kit a little more tightly. She had seen them kiss, well, Kikyo had kissed Inu Yasha, but still. It wasn't exactly like he tried to run away, and her with a front row seat, not that he could see her. It was almost cruel; he was so heartfelt in his promise, his declaration of undying, unconditional love. Kagome only wished that he could feel the same love for her that he did for Kikyo.

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He's coming.

"Kikyo-neesama, come play!"

"I would love to Sayo, but I have some business to take care of first."

The little girl's shoulder's slumped in defeat, "Okay..."

"But you should be getting home now shouldn't you? It's getting late." At the little girl's nod, Kikyo smiled and continued, "I'll play with you first thing tomorrow morning after breakfast okay?"

Beaming, the raven-haired child grabbed onto Kikyo's sleeve and giggled. Nodding her head vigorously, she hastily made her way back home and to her mother, waving behind her until the priestess was out of sight. The sooner she slept, the sooner breakfast would come, and the sooner breakfast would come, the sooner she could play with Kikyo!

She's so much like Kaede used to be...

Kikyo strolled through the village and past the outskirts of the forest, remembering the night she and Inu Yasha had kissed. He had proclaimed his love to her, even embraced her, but then what? He left her for... for... for that girl! He hadn't even kissed her back. 

For once Kikyo doubted whether she wanted to see him or not. Of course, she did because she loved him, but he had that girl now; what would become of them? What if one of these days he came back and said that he didn't want to see her again, that he didn't love her anymore? Why was she destined to despise the one she loved? Sighing, Kikyo slowed her step slightly, so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed the distance she had been walking. What if he chose her?

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What if he chose her?

Slipping in beside Shippou in her sleeping bag, Kagome took a short look around camp. It had gotten dark quickly, and they had been forced to stay there for the night. Of course, they didn't need much. They had eaten some snacks from her bag for dinner, and pulled out her sleeping bag for the night, but that was all. Kagome wasn't feeling very hungry. As for her being alone with Shippou, well, the miko was sure that she could protect her kit, and Inu Yasha, she simply figured that Inu Yasha would find his own way back...

If he does come back.

She mentally slapped herself; what was she thinking? He always came back. He *did* have the shards to find after all.

But what if Kikyo can see them too?

What then? What reason would he have to keep her around? He obviously loved Kikyo. Maybe he could see Kagome as a friend, at most, but his heart would never truly be hers. Would she really be left behind? Was she really so useless?

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Was she really so useless? So useless that she could be thrown away so easily? Standing there, looking into the eyes of the hanyou she loved, Kikyo knew his choice.

It wasn't fair; it wasn't fair! They were in love! He was hers first! Beneath the emotionless mask Kikyo was bleeding. Her soul was crying out to anyone who could hear it, and it was threatening to tear her apart. It wasn't her fault. They were together, and then Naraku came; it wasn't her fault that they were tricked, that she was heart-broken and got upset! He did too! They both made a mistake, so why wouldn't he let her take it back? If only she had been awoken and had found him first, things may have been different. At the very worst he would've stayed pinned to that tree, and she could've ended this horrible clay-shelled life and gone back to him. Hell, her replacement never would've been there to have that stupid witch revive her. Why?

She now had a second chance to be with Inu Yasha, to be together. They would've been happy, but not now, not now. He still loved her, and she loved him, but he had another, that girl. How would he have felt if he awoke one day to find her with another?! He would've slaughtered them, and yet she could not do the same. He almost came back to her that night. She almost had the one thing she needed in life, but then the girl got in the way. Is it any wonder she hates the girl? She can't even bear to speak her name! Kikyo was brought to life and empty shell, her soul stolen and she herself left alone in the world, left alone with the knowledge that the one thing she wanted was in reach, but the closer she got, the further he did. Alone and confused, who would be there for her? Who would support her and understand when all she wanted was his love? Meanwhile, that girl had him and a group of friends to support her every whim, her every mood swing. She hadn't been through death, through life even, and yet she had all the luxuries that Kikyo was refused. Kikyo hadn't wanted to be brought back to life, especially if this is what she had in store for her. She didn't want to hate him, just to rest in peace. Like anything went her way. 

She knew that she should've moved on, especially by then, but how could she when no matter where she went, her love and that girl were leading their group towards her, or getting Inu Yasha into trouble? How could she let her love sit there and be in danger when she could help him? Why couldn't he see how much she loved him, how much she went through just to try and help him, even indirectly? Why couldn't he see how horrible it was, forced to protect him from the shadows, forced to watch as *she* won over his heart more and more each day, with nothing she could do about it?

Sure, Kikyo had tried killing her, and would again, but Inu Yasha would just get more distant. He would be mad at her for hurting his precious charge. He would've killed her suitors in the blink of an eye, but she was not allowed?! When would her feelings matter to him?! She had been the best, and now? Look how easily he replaced her, with the first wench he saw. 

In reality, she didn't hate Kagome, but hated that she was with Inu Yasha. Kagome was an obstacle to be overcome. Kikyo hated what Kagome was doing with him, to him. If she had gotten a chance, if she hadn't have been tricked, Kikyo would've soothed his heart, but the girl got there first, and now? 

Now she lived, once the most powerful, and now helpless, trapped by a burning hatred left behind by a lovelorn soul. She was helpless to leave without him, and yet, he was the only reason she was alive, literally. She couldn't die without him, and she couldn't live without him. There was no longer another meaning in her life, only hatred and longing, and even hell was better than the "living hell" she had been forced to endure. Still, she *had*endured it, and all for him.

It was bad enough that she was replaced, but to lose to her literal replacement, her reincarnation? That stung. She was left behind like some object would be left or thrown away once something better came. Was that all she was to him, an object?

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Is that all I am to him, an object? Am I just his shard detector?

Kikyo came first, Kagome had no rights to Inu Yasha, nor to do anything to stand in their way, but... what about her? To stand next to him every day, be within reach of the love she yearned for, but at the same time, be so far away, it was cruel. It wasn't fair. Maybe she was like an object, made less reliably than the one before her. This wasn't her world, and the only reason she was there was for him. Kagome sacrificed so much for him, but did he have any idea? No, never. Sure, her friends sympathized; they tried to help, but she needed him to understand, to be with her. Instead he was off, doing who knows what to the one who held a stolen part of her soul, the walking corpse. Kagome was lonely, all alone in her heart. Kikyo wouldn't understand that. She had power, she had strength, and she had him, while Kagome was always compared to her. Kagome was Kagome and Kikyo was Kikyo, but who would be the one to forever hold his heart?

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"When she's dead I'll still be there." 

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When I'm dead she'll still be there, but if she dies first...

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"When she's gone, I can have him back, and we can be together for eternity, just as we were meant to be."

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She'll have him when I die, but if she dies first, maybe I'll have a chance.

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"I could take back my soul."

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I could have my soul back.

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On opposite sides of the forest, two miko sighed. "But he loves her."

"Loves who?"

Kagome jumped, startling Shippou, and darted her gaze towards the hanyou looking down on her.

"When did you get back?"

The hanyou shrugged, "A while ago."

"Oh gee, thanks, that helped." Rolling her eyes, Kagome settled Shippou back into the sleeping bag, and lay down beside him, cuddling the kit to her chest as Inu Yasha jumped onto one of the lower branches of the tree above them, a slight smile playing across his features.

"I wonder," Inu Yasha thought as he sat overhead, "how will I tell Kagome?" Looking down upon her sleeping form, the hanyou smiled one of many genuine smiles he had begun to adorn since he first met this strange girl. "How will she react when I tell her that I've chosen her?"

The darkness of the night softened around the three, stars shining above them warmly. The next morning would be one that neither Inu Yasha nor Kagome would ever forget, and, with that last thought, a sleepy hanyou wandered off, slipping quietly into dreamland. His ever-vigilant nightly watch had been postponed, and in its place he held the first sweet dreams he had had in over five centuries.


End file.
